"İçimde derinlerde, içme, diyen bir ses var."

Memlekete mi, yıldızlara mı, gençliğime mi daha uzak karar veremediğim. İyi ki mi doğmuşsun bilmiyorum ama ne ölümden korkmak ayıp ne de düşünmek ölümü.


What if I said I wanna die.


Words are torture. Words are commitment. As the old saying refers, words do not fly. They stay. They sting. They stink.

You can pull a needle back. It keeps hurting. But you cannot pull a word back, it hurts better.

sorry… for the stuff

I accidentally stopped believing today. I stopped talking. I stopped hearing. I stopped laughing. I accidentally stopped hoping today.

I’d never see all that coming. I’d never believe, even if someone told me. I’m just so sorry, I can’t take it anymore. My very own thoughts are burying me alive. It burns. It literally burns, like an ice-cold knife would do.

I wanna see you, all alive and real as much as I never want to see you again. My head’s going to explode. I want to vomit misery and anger and disappointment. I’d almost be glad if someone just comes and shoots me in the head. Way easier.

I wanna float. Float in sorrow, without any feelings. Empty skies. Would be a fun place to not feel anything. Words are bloody torture. I accidentally stopped talking today.


Living is a tough job. Breathing is easy, but it is no living.

only ever in dreams, i wrapped my arms around you

gonna miss you so much.